I logged on to my email account last night and had some brilliant news! For some strange reason some Woman had decided that I was to be the beneficiary of her will. Being the nice bloke that I am albeit agnostic I thought that if she's giving me this money I'll donate £100,000 to my cricket club so that we can have a new pitch in Orsett. What's this all about? you're no doubt wondering? Here's the story so far.... This is the email I got last night.....
From: Mrs. Mary Johnson.17 Copse Hill,Wimbledon,SW20 0NE, London,United Kingdom.
My name is Mrs. Mary Johnson, I am a dying woman who have decided to donatewhat I have to you/ church.I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer forabout 2 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who has left meeverything he worked for. I have been touched by God to donate from what I haveinherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God, rather thanallow my relatives to use my husband hard earned funds ungodly.Please pray thatthe good Lord forgive me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believehe has because He is a mercifu l God.I will be going in for an operation in less than one hour. I decided toWILL/donate the sum of £10 MillionGBP(Ten Million Great Britain Poundssterling) to you for the good work of the lord, and also to help the motherlessand less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows. At the moment Icannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my relatives arearound me and my health status. I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is awareI have changed my will you and he will arrange the transfer of the funds frommy account to you. I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless youabundantly, and please use the funds well andalways extend the good work to others.Contact Person:Barr Teddy WillaimsE-mail: email@example.com tell him that I have WILLED £10 MillionGBP (Ten Million Great BritainPounds sterling) to you and I have also notified him thatI am WILLING that amount to you for a specific and good work. I know I don?tknow you but I have been directed to do this. Thanks and God bless.NB: You will be entitled to 40% while the balance will be use by you to helpthe work of God and the less privilege?s will appreciate your utmostconfidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don't wantanything that will jeopardize my last wish.And Also I will be contacting with you by email as I don't want my relation oranybody to know because they are always around me.
Mrs. Mary Johnson
So I replied..........
I'll be looking forward to it in the post. Hopefully it's all going to be used notes. If you could cash the money in for Gold and send gold instead. Send via Fedral Express or someone like that. If no-one is in leave instructions for the driver to go round the back and tell him to throw it all over the back gate. If you think the gold is too obvious I will take cash as long as it's UK pounds sterling or US dollars. Put it in a good sturdy box and the same applies if I'm not in.
I'm so glad you're doing this for me because I'm totally skint and I've got children and this may now set them up so that they go to a good school and get a good education. With the money I'll also donate £100,000 to a local cricket team so that they can buy the lease to a piece of land and make a new cricket pitch and pavillion.
Then this morning as quick as a flash I got a reply this morning from her lawyer......
Dear Dave Thompson,
I am Barrister, Teddy Williams a barrister to Mrs. Mary Johnson latehusband I was directed by Mrs. Mary Johnson regarding your e-mail yousend to her for you been her next of kin to execute her late husband willas you know very well that she is not in a better position in any wayto respond to your e-mail due to her present condition medical treatmentin Barnes Hospital, South Wimple Way, SW14 8SU, London, England First i will like to welcome your interest to be her next of kin to iwill like to execute her late husband will that is to say Mrs. MaryJohnson is putting all are trust in you to execute her late husband willand I know that you will not let her down or disappoint her.Before we proceed, I will like to update you that you must be areliable and truthful person to execute her late husband will and you mustdistribute her late husband fund of £10 Million (Ten Million Great BritainPounds sterling) with a Finance company in Europe to the lessprivilege/orphanage in your country she will be directing you to as time goeson. And you must show one or two prove showing that the fund is welldistributed to the less privilege and the work of God. Note that at the end of this transaction, after you have receive thefund been transferred to your account through the Finance company you areentitled to 40% of the total money while the balance will be use tohelp the work of God and the less prevelege in your country she will be directing
you to as time goes on be inform that before i direct you to Financecompany you must get back to me with your full details. Processing as thenext of kin(NOK). 1. Your date of birth2. Your place of birth3. Your Occupation4. Any valid identity card5. Full name6. Tel numbers7. Contact address8. Sex Upon receipt of this e-mail, I will then direct you to the Financecompany for the facilitating/processing of the fund transfer to youraccount in your country. Note: i am not demanding any money of form of payment from as herbarrister for service and directive i will be rendering to you because ihave been fully paid by my late client and all we need is to comply withour directives to make sure your funds is fully transferred. I await your prompt response.
Yours in Service,
BARR TEDDY WILLIAMS .+44 7045722387
So in reply to that I've said.......
Cheers for responding so quickly, I can't give you any of those deatils as there are so many people that are working scams on the internet, but if you're giving the money away I certainly wont be saying no to it. So if you can put it in a suit case and then put the suitcase in a black plastic bag and take it to Blackshots playing fields in Grays, Essex. You can drop the money off at the cricket pavillion at 2.30pm on any Sunday. You don't have to identify yourself and you can be as discreet as you like. Simply walk up to the pavillion building and place the money where the lawn mowers and score boards are. Cheers in advance and thank you for your genorosity.
So with a bit of luck in the next couple of weeks some bloke will be dropping £10,000,000 off to me at the cricket club. So any cricket club members reading this - don't forget if you find a suitcase or 2 with £10,000,000 in it or bars of gold that look like 10 million quids worth - it's mine. I'll pay for the new pitch and I'll pay for a big party as well and I'll take everyone on a world tour as well - and we'll do all the best cricket pitches and beaches for a year, maybe go and meet Shane Warne and have a session in the nets with him? (We'll donate £100,000 to a charity of his choice if he accomodates us as long as it nothing to do with animals - especially cats).
Anyway - on a more mundane front while I'm waiting to become a multi millionaire, it's rained all day so I've not been able to practice. I've just realised I can build my own indoor nets facility as well when this money comes through? Tomorrow though is supposedly starting sunny so I may get out on one of the fields and have a bowl? Let's hope so.